So You Think You Can Dance

I worked major, major hours the last two days so today's post is going to be a fluff piece, okay? Cut me some slack. Anyway, I love So You Think You can Dance. Just Love that show!

This song is just so emotional and so strong. It really portrays the feeling of the song. I love music and dancing that portrays feelings.

Here is one of my all time favorite pieces:">


And here's one that I love because 1.) Legacy and Russell are my two favorites and 2.) The dancing is just plain awesome!

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In memory of a very special lady

My Aunt Bea passed away. She was in her later 70's. She lived out in Pennsylvania now and I hadn't seen her in a few years. She and Uncle Karl lived about 45 minutes away from us when we were young. Uncle Karl and me and my brother all share the same birthday. I can remember many times on that day going out to their house to celebrate out birthdays. They always made us feel so special and important to them.

Aunt Bea and Uncle Karl have one child, Lori. But you know what, they had lots of other kids like me and my siblings and my Uncle Ursula's kids and so many of my other cousins. You know why? Because of Aunt Bea. She was loud and crazy, funny and opinionated and boy did she love. She loved with all her heart and she made sure we knew it and she made sure we stayed on the narrow road. If she saw us going off the path she didn't hesitate to say something.

She called me and my brother Stevie and Susie. She gave us gifts at Christmas and our birthday. She made us laugh and she helped raise us into the people we are today.

A lot of my cousins have been commenting on Facebook about how much we are going to miss her. It's a testament to how much she meant to all of us.

In recent years Aunt Bea and Uncle Karl haven't been well. Like I said, I haven't seen them in a while. For a long time now I've been thinking I needed to send her a card and just tell her how much she always meant to me and that I loved her. Oh, I know I have told her I loved her before, but Aunt Bea was the type who liked to hear it more than once! You know, I never sent that card. And now I have such a big regret. I know that I will see her again in heaven some day. I don't doubt that one bit and when I get there I am going to hear that loud and distinct laugh of her's, but I wish I had had one more chance on this earth to tell her that I love her.

So be sure to tell those you love what you think, especially those that you may think, "Oh they know how I feel about them," because you know they may just need to be reminded sometimes.

Whoa...wow.....uh, where have I been?

My mom keeps saying, "I still check your blog but you haven't written anything in so long." I then proceed to tell her that when my mind is actually clear and free enough to think of something fun, funny, useless or interesting to write I will write.

Well, this is going to be neither fun, funny, (maybe useless) or interesting. It's been many, many months since I have written in my blog because I have been working full time and more because Jeff lost his job back in June.

There is so much I could say about that but it's just too much of a burden to even write it and it's too overwhelming and sad. I have run the gamut of emotions, scared, sad, angry, disappointed, confident, and now I am pretty much numb.

These five months I have barely lived. I have gone through the motions, I have done what had to be done but I haven't lived, except for a few short hours here and there. It is my own fault. I have allowed this test to overtake my entire life. I sit at the computer ALL DAY. Not because I am working every minute but because I have let my life slip away. I waste time and "goof off" to try to get away from actually living. I keep saying, "Once Jeff gets a job, I'll....." fill in the blank because I have left most of my life blank since this happened.

I know that is not what God wants for me. But I do feel like, Okay God haven't we gone through enough yet? Legal stuff, losing our house, Jeff's hospitalizations and now Jeff losing his job. Come on, like really? Oh, I know it could be SO much worse. That's the scary part. I KNOW that in the scheme of life we are actually RICH compared to most of the world. And I know that we have our health and our children are happy and we all are living for God, so why can't I let that be enough. I have not learned to be content in whatever situation I find myself. I am not content - I am numb, I am blank.

No, before you start worrying I am not depressed (other than just feeling down today because DH didn't make the final cut for the only job that was sit on the possible horizon). This is about learning to live even when life isn't giving you rainbows of Skittles and pots of gold. Learning to be content, believing God for everything else.

God and I had a conversation a few days ago. I said, "Wow you really have done miracles to make sure all our bills have been paid, it truly is a miracle." But then I kind of said to myself (hoping God wouldn't hear wink, wink) "But when it is all going to dry up? When is it going to become too much financially?" And God said to me, "Hey Sue, haven't I provided for you in your life up till now?" "Yes, you have, Lord." "Do I own everything and have the power to do anything?" "Yes, you do, Lord." "Are my riches going to dry up?" "No, Lord." "What do you think I am like a health savings account, once you use up the funds saved in that account that's it, there's no more for you? No, my accounts never dry up." And then there was me, smiling at the Lord trying to be cute because I was embarrassed by my lack of trust.

I have to remember his mercies are NEW every morning. His ability to protect, provide and sustain us never dries up.

Enough rambling, but I had to get this out there because I have to take responsiblity for my actions and I have to start living again and I have to learn to be content in whatever situation I find myself in, because all situations we find ourselves in the Lord is in them with us!

Easter Funny.....

In these uncertain times.....

I am doing a special in church in April and I have a song but this song keeps coming back to me and I keep singing it over and over. It's not really in my key and I am thinking about having the worship team play for me because the words speak so clearly to me.

In these uncertain times, the financial chaos, the unrest in the world, the moral decay, concerns for children, family and friends I am so comforted to be reminded...."You were there, You were there in the midst of dangers snare, You were there, You were there ALWAYS."

And these lines remind me to put my complete trust ONLY in HIM...."So haven't I learned that my ways aren't as high as Yours are. And YOU ALONE keep the universe from crumbling into dust."

JESUS ALWAYS HAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THERE. Thank you, thank you, thank you my Jesus.

I'm having trouble embedding the video today, but PLEASE clink the link and listen to the song. You WILL be encouraged, I'm sure of it.

You Were There, by Avalon

So proud of her....

Yesterday Erica and her friend did a special at church for the first time. She is 12 - turning 13 in May. They did such a wonderful job. I remember the first time that I sang in church for the first time. I blew on my hair every two or three seconds and hid behind the music stand.

Erica has so much more poise than I did at that age and had wonderful harmonies. I couldn't hold back the tears! She and her friend will be performing at Fine Arts in April.

What a great kid.

It's snowing??!!!

Today is March 20th, the FIRST.DAY.OF.SPRING......did the weather not get the memo? I'm laying in bed this morning and my daughter walks in and says, "Mom, it's snowing." "Yeah right, Erica." "No really, it's snowing." "Well that's just dumb, today's the first day of spring." I get out of bed put my glasses on, cause I'm basically blind without them and sure enough, it's snowing. Well that just does not make any sense, AT ALL.

I'm ready for spring, I'm ready for opening windows and hearing birds chirping, working outside in the yard, planting tomatoes and cucumbers. I'm hoping this is winters last little thumbing of its nose and farewell speech.

But I have to say the flakes are really very pretty - small ones and then real, real big ones.

Happy Spring everybody!